Ah, jealousy. One of the ugliest emotions that a human being can ever experience. Ever since ancient times, this emotion has caused relationship strains, broken friendships, unhappiness, depression, hate, anger, and any other negative thing in human history. It can even cause wars between countries. All of us has experienced this in our lives. Remember when you were in school and your classmate got higher grades than you and she wasn’t even studying that hard? Or remember the time when you were a teenager and you started liking girls/boys, that your friend keeps getting attention from them while you’re wondering if you’re attractive or not? Or even when you started working and your colleague got that promotion way ahead of you, while you worked your ass off just to watch that asshole get it first? Yes, every single one of us knows this feeling too well. I’ve experienced it way too many times in my life so far. I did learn some ways to cope with it though, here they are and I hope they can help you to cope with your own syndrome of envy:
1) Realize that everyone is different from you
- Now just because that guy has a better car than you, doesn’t mean that same car will be right for you. Just because that girl has a hotter boyfriend than you, doesn’t mean that that same boyfriend will make you happy. Everyone has different advantages and disadvantages; everyone has different cards that life has dealt them with. You need to realize that just because that person has that thing in his/her life, that same thing won’t be right for your life.
2) Be grateful for what you already have
- My mom always said to me “son, when you want to be truly happy, you have to count your blessings,” and she was spot on. You can’t be happy if you keep looking at what others have that you don’t have. You’re always looking at what’s lacking in your life instead of what you already have. It’s impossible for someone to have absolutely nothing in their life; everyone has something. Even that beggar that you see in the street, he has his life. When you start being grateful for what you already have, only then you will realize that there’s nothing lacking and that you’re a blessed and lucky person.
(Caveat: if you want to add or improve something in your life, then go ahead. However, don’t do this if you’re coming from a place of scarcity, be grateful first then add something to your life or improve it, you will have a much easier time.)
3) Be happy for the people around you
- This is probably the hardest step. I know you’re thinking: “why the hell should I be happy for that bastard?” It’s because eventually, you’ll be as happy, or even happier than that person. I know it’s hard to believe that right now, you may be thinking that it’s pure bullshit, but it’s true. Things eventually do get better as time goes by. That problem you had yesterday, you will be able to solve it tomorrow. The worries you have about your job or your love life or your family, it probably won’t happen.
Also, that guy you hate or that girl that you think is snobby, you don’t know their story. You don’t know what’s happening in their lives, whether good or bad. They may be going through some hard stuff right now and are hiding it from everyone. You probably remember that time in your life, everyone remembers that dark time in their lives when they are worried about the worst case scenarios that may happen.
So the next time you see a person like that, be kind to them and give them your smile. I remember a story about a guy who killed himself. He wrote in his suicide note: “If on my way to the bridge where I’m going to jump, at least one person smiles at me, I won’t kill myself.” Guess what happened? Your smile may be able to save a person’s life.
Everyone feels jealous of someone else. I, you or people you know have gotten this feeling too. You don’t have to let this one silly negative emotion ruin your life.
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