Why there is no such thing as a "League" in Dating or Romantic Relationships

I'm sure you've heard of these phrases: "She's out of my league, she'll never date me." or "He's out my league, he'll never ask me out." What is this "league" that people are talking about when it comes to dating?

From my experience, this "league" that people are talking about is nothing more than a superficial concept that people a long time ago made up. Most of it has to do with a physical attractiveness of a person and his/her partner. 

When the guy is ugly and the girl he's dating is pretty, people will say "oh he's rich" or "oh that girl must have low standards." When the girl is ugly and the guy is good-looking, people will say "that guy must have an exotic taste." 

It's a toxic and shallow concept that people unconsciously use. If a "league" was true, then there would be no ugly guys with attractive girlfriends, there would be no ugly girls with attractive husbands. It has to stop.

What people don't realize is another age old concept that "beauty is in the eye of the beholder." There are other things that make people attractive other than their looks or how pretty of a face they have. 

• Physical Fitness/Aesthetics/Athleticism

People can't change their face, but they can change their body. Studies show that an attractive body makes up for an unattractive face. This goes for both men and women.

People are attracted to fit people because they have a high amount of sex appeal. I know guys and girls who don't have a really attractive face, but they regularly workout and maintain their body, and a lot of people are still attracted to them.

• Personality

What's the use of being attractive if you have a personality of a rock? Yes you might be hot, but you're not fun to be around or talk to. People still won't be attracted to you.

I know a girl in college, she's below average in looks, some might even call her ugly, but she has the funnest personality in the class. She can make anyone laugh and have a good time. Needless to say that there are guys who ask her out on a regular basis because of that.

• Confidence

You might be the most attractive person in the room, but you don't even believe it. You believe that you're ugly, even though the people around you take a second look at you when they notice you.

Sometimes being attractive is a mindset. If you believe that you're handsome/beautiful, other people are going to start believing you too.

I know one girl who looks like a model, but she believes she's ugly because her older brothers kept teasing her when she was younger. It's a waste because she's repelling guys just because of her low self-confidence.

• Interest/Hobbies

Cool hobbies makes you attractive. Guys who play guitar, no matter how good looking they are, will get girls attracted to them. Girls who play sports, especially the sports dominated by men, will get guys attracted to them because they stand out(and they're also physically fit).

Hobbies and interests make a person's life interesting, and who wouldn't be attracted to an interesting person?

• Career/Money

Last but not the least, your career or financial status. For the career, as long as you have a decent job that pays the bills, you will be an attractive potential partner for stability reasons. It's only a bonus if your job or business pays high.

As for the money, there's an old saying "No money, no honey." Let's face it, money is important in life. You can't do most things without money. Yes money can't buy happiness, but it can buy things or experiences that will make you happy. It can also buy things you actually need like food, water, a house, medicine etc. This is the main reason why most attractive women are somewhat attracted to guys who are rich or well off. 

These are the main things that makes a person attractive, other than their looks. If you have even just one or two of these, you will be an attractive person, no matter how good looking you are. 

A "league" won't even be a problem for you. You will be on a league of your own.

Why Taking A Break From Social Media Can Do Wonders For Your Mental Health

Can people actually "take a break" from social media? Is it possible with most people spending at least a few hours day on social media? Will this actually improve my mental health?

Over the past two decades, the internet and social media has taken the world by storm. Almost everyone these days has an account in the major social media platforms like Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Snapchat, etc. When you want to find a person, you just have to search his/her name in the search bar and you will find that person(unless that person's name is very common like John Smith).

There is a main downside to social media, and this is the cause of why mental health issues are rising to an all time high in recent years. This phenomenon is called "FOMO" or "Fear Of Missing Out." It basically means that you feel like you're missing out on life compared to your peers or other people in your life. This leads to depression, anxiety, and other mental health issues that plague the masses today.

There is a simple solution to this problem, and that is taking a break from social media. Allow yourself at least 1-2 days without browsing Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Snapchat, or any other major social media platforms. Other people even do this for a week, a month, or even a year! 

Think about this for a second, the average person spends at least 2 hours on social media. On specific platforms, people spend an average of 40 minutes a day on Youtube, 35 minutes a day on Facebook, 25 minutes a day on Snapchat, and 15 minutes a day on Instagram.With those 2 hours you can do something productive or healthier than social media.

Here's a list of my own ideas I compiled that you can do on your free time to replace your time on social media.

You can:

• Work out at the gym
• Read a book
• Spend time with your family and friends
• Learn a new skill
• Do a hobby
• Learn new things
• Read the newspaper
• Spend time with your pets
• Meet new people
• Play a sport

These things above are only my idea of things you can do rather than mindlessly scroll through your Facebook or Instagram feed. In one week, you would have spent 14 hours on social media. You can do a lot with those 14 hours!

Not only will you be more productive, but you will do yourself, particularly your mental health a huge favor, when you do this. You will now see how much time you are actually wasting on these platforms. Every post, every picture, every stories, do you really need to see them?

Take a break from social media, and see how your life changes for the better. See how taking a break from Facebook, Instagram or Twitter will do wonders for your mental health. You'll be glad that you did this and realize that you can live in the world without checking your Facebook notifications or Instagram likes.

How to Start Taking Care of Yourself

Taking care of yourself is a must for everybody, no matter who you are. Sure, it's the job of doctors or nurses to take care of people, but not all the time is there going to be a doctor, nurse, or even another person that's going to take care of you and attend to your every need.

It's part of being an adult, knowing how to take care of yourself even if there's nobody around to help you.

If you're having a hard time knowing how to practice self-care, then here are a few tips:

1) Get Some Alone Time

I don't care of you're extroverted, introverted or ambiverted, all of us need alone time. Even the people considered social butterflies need some time for themselves.

Being around other people can drain your energy, especially if some of those people are toxic. There's nothing wrong with staying at home and binge watching Netflix or YouTube videos.

You don't have to lock yourself in your bedroom though. You can be alone in a public place like sitting alone in a park bench or a library.

Take at least half an hour or an hour a day to be alone. This will recharge your energy to get you through the week.

2) Spend Time With Loved Ones

This contradicts the first step, but it's also important. Too much isolation from other people can drive a person crazy. Humans are mostly social creatures after all.

That being said, make sure that the people you spend your time with are people you actually love, or at least people with a positive influence. You don't want to waste your time with toxic and pessimistic people.

Spending time with loved ones can boost your mood instantly. It can change your crappy day to a happy day.

Lastly, they won't be around forever. It's crucial to spend as much time with them now than regret not being with them later in your life.

3) Exercise

This is a no brainer and everybody knows this, but why do some people still hesitate to actually do it?

Exercising not only has physical benefits, but also mental ones. It produces powerful chemicals in your brain that make you feel good.

If you're having a bad day, a short workout at the gym or a quick run might be a good solution. You can even do exercises at home like push-ups, crunches, air squats, planks, etc.

Plus, you're going to look healthy and fit, which can help you when you decide to go on a date.

4) Do Activities or Hobbies That You Like

I haven't met a person that has absolutely no hobbies. Everyone has something.

This can make your life a lot more interesting and exciting than it is now.

I personally like going to the gym and playing sports. These two hobbies have helped me shape a more interesting life, plus it's connected to the previous tips so I'm also getting exercise.

Find a hobby that you like and you will not only become less bored but you will also be a more interesting and happy person.

5) Try Something New

If you've been doing the same thing for the past couple of months, or even years, then it's time to try something new. Probably one of the reasons why you've been feeling down lately is because of your old routine.

Try something new for a change. It can be anything. Try going to a place you've never been to before, eat a dish you've never tried eating, watch a movie genre you don't usually watch, etc. 

Novelty is never boring and will spice up your life.

6) Talk To a Professional or Someone You Trust

If you're still feeling down, and maybe this has been going on for a long time, then maybe you should take drastic measures. 

Talking to a professional Psychiatrist/Psychologist/Therapist will save you from further damage you can do to yourself. Just find a professional that is willing to genuinely help you because not all professionals in the mental health industry will be able to help you.

If you can't do that for whatever reason, then talk to the people around you, your loved ones. Find someone who's willing to listen to you without judging you. 

You will definitely feel better after you let out these pent up feelings. Talking to someone will most probably save your life.

Taking care of yourself is a never ending journey. You will have to do this for the rest of your life. It's tiring, but it will be worth it. No price is too big to pay for your health. As the saying goes: "Health is Wealth."

3 Lessons I Learned From Kobe Bryant

Most kids today who watch basketball, idolize guys like Stephen Curry, Lebron James, Russell Westbrook, Kevin Durant and all the other current all stars in the NBA today. When I was a kid though, there was one player who everybody idolized and looked up to, that player was Kobe Bryant. Kobe was a player who could do it all. He can score, shoot, pass, rebound, defend, and do low post moves better than most big men in his time. Whenever people round my age shoot, they scream "Kobe!" Even when kids pretend to play basketball around a garbage can in a classroom, when they shoot, they scream "Kobe!" That's how Kobe affected the basketball world forever. He was my generation's Michael Jordan.

There are some lessons I learned from Kobe Bryant, lessons that can be applied anywhere not just in basketball.

1) Work Super Hard to Become Super Successful

"I heard the ball bouncing. No lights were on. Practice was at about 11, it was probably about 9, 9:30. And I go out to the court and I look, and there's Kobe Bryant. He's out there shooting in the dark. And I stood there for probably about ten seconds, and I said, 'This kid is gonna be great.'" -Byron Scott

If there was one thing insane about Kobe Bryant, it was his insane work ethic. There were many stories about Kobe's work ethic from his former teammates and the people around him. Stories like how he was the very first player to arrive in the court and the last player to leave the court. One story I heard was that Kobe slept for only 3-4 hours and use those extra waking hours to practice. Whenever I play basketball to practice it's even less than 30 minutes!

This was a huge part in Kobe Bryant's success in his NBA career. He was willing to work harder than any other player in the league. We can all see how that turned out as he became one of the top 10 NBA players of all time. 

If you want to be super successful at anything then you have to work super hard also. If you want to be a top person of all time in your field, then be prepared to work, hustle, and grind like you never did before.

2) Be Resilient When Faced with an Obstacle

“I have moments and I have days where I doubt myself. But to me, that’s the exciting part of the challenge.That’s when I realize this is a great opportunity to come out and show everybody this is how you bounce back. This is how you respond to a challenge.” – Kobe Bryant

Hardcore Kobe fans remember his "airball game" when he was a rookie in the NBA. It happened against the Utah Jazz in the post season where he shot a few air balls which caused them to lose the series against the Jazz. Kobe faced a lot of criticism and hate during this time. He even doubted himself. He could have folded and played normally, but he used this as motivation. The season after that in his first game against the Jazz, Kobe scored 23 points off the bench beating the Jazz that game, getting his revenge.

Everybody faces adversity, obstacles, and setbacks in their lives. Nobody in the world has never experienced some form of failure or rejection in their lives. What defines us is how we respond to these setbacks in our lives. Successful people have a tendency to bounce back after every failure or setback that happens to them.

3) Learn From Other People

“I cold call people and pick their brain about stuff. Some of the questions I ask seem really really simple and some of them seem stupid, quite honestly, for them. But if I don’t know, I don’t know. I have to ask. I’ll just do that and ask questions. I want to learn more about how they build their business and how they run their companies and how they see the world.” – Kobe Bryant

After Kobe's basketball career, he ventured into other fields and became an entrepreneur. Last year, he even won an Oscar for an animated short film he did titled "Dear Basketball." 

This shows that you can be successful at any area you choose. In the case of Kobe, just because he was a basketball player for most of his life, doesn't mean he only going to be successful in that field. With the right training, practice and coaching, anyone can become successful at almost anything. It also helps if you ask for advice from people who are already successful at that field you want to be successful at. 

Kobe Bryant is a basketball legend. We can learn many things from his basketball career and his life. If you want to model your success after any NBA player, then Kobe might be one of the best role models out there.

The Bravest People I Know

How do we define bravery? What exactly makes a person brave? Based on the dictionary, brave is defined as "ready to face and endure danger or pain; showing courage." Bravery is defined as simply "courageous behavior or character." What does a brave person look like in every day life?

Bravery may have a different image for different kinds of people. What you define as brave might not be brave for another person. For me though, I know three kinds of people that definitely fits the criteria, or even candidates for being the bravest people.

1) People who keep going for their dreams or goals, despite endless rejection or failure

Rejection and failure are two of the most hurtful things a person can experience, they happen to everybody. Despite that, every successful person has gone through a large number of rejections or failures. 

If you search the life story of your favorite celebrity, there's a 100% chance that he or she had to go through a massive amount of rejection or failure that a normal person couldn't handle or is not willing to go through.

If you are one of these people, I commend you for having the courage to keep going for your dreams. Never give up!

2) People who keep loving like they haven't experienced heartbreak

Let's face it, nobody wants to go through a breakup. Actually you're lucky if you have experienced a breakup, other people have experienced worse like being cheated on or being ghosted. Normally, people will build up hatred after experiencing these. Men will hate women, women will hate men. They also will be hesitant to get into another relationship after a failed one/s. 

Some people though, are so brave, that they keep putting themselves out there. They keep dating, or getting into relationships, despite the fact that they've been hurt by their exes in the past. Eventually, they find love and get married to a person who's perfect for them.

I admire these people, it makes me questions my own mindset when it comes to dating or relationships.

3) People who live with a mental illness, and is continuing to live or even living a great life despite it

When it comes to physical illness, people around you are ready to comfort you; when it comes to mental illness though, people around you will tend to avoid you. That's the sad truth for mental health, it has a stigma even in modern times.

Insensitive people or clueless people will label these people with mental illnesses as "crazy" or "abnormal" or "insane" while not knowing the backstory of these kinds of people.

Whenever I see a person who's successful and has experienced having a mental illness, I get inspired a lot. Despite the world being cruel to them, they fought through it, and are still fighting for their lives today.

If you haven't had a mental illness, then consider yourself lucky. The world is different for these kinds of people. In a video game, it's like normal people are playing with the normal difficulty, while people with mental illness are playing with the super hard difficulty.

I suggest you study up about mental health, who knows, maybe one of the people closest to you is experiencing this right now and you're not even aware of it. 

If you are one of these people: get professional help, get support from trusted people, and more importantly, keep going, keep fighting, and keep living.

A Quick List of Famous Failures and Rejections for Quick Motivation and Inspiration

Most people know the success stories of their favorite celebrities or heroes, but what most people don't know are the stories about their failures or rejections that they had to go through before getting successful. If you need a quick motivation or inspiration, here is a short list of famous failures and rejections.

• Henry Ford failed and went broke five times before he succeeded.
• Beethoven's teacher called him hopeless as a composer.
• NFL running back Herschel Walker was not accepted to his junior high school football team because the coach said he was too small.
• Colonel Sanders of KFC got rejected over 1000 times before someone finally bought his chicken recipe. At the age of 75, he sold his fried chicken company for $15 million.
• Dr. Seuss's first children's book, "And to Think That I Saw It on Mulberry Street" was rejected by 27 publishers.
• The University of Bern turned down a doctoral dissertation, the student's name was Albert Einstein.
• Charles Darwin was called by his father and some of his teachers "a very ordinary boy, rather below the common standard in intellect."
• Walt Disney was fired by a newspaper editor for lack of ideas, and also went bankrupt before he built Disneyland.
• Thomas Edison's teachers said he was too stupid to learn anything.
• Isaac Newton did poorly in grade school.
• Babe Ruth, who holds the home run record, also holds the record for strikeouts.
• 50 cent was arrested at the age of 19-years old, after a string of run-ins with the cops and a subsequent arrest for possession of drugs and a firearm.
• Elvis Presley was told that he couldn't sing.
• It took Harrison Ford 9 years before he landed his breakthrough role in "American Graffiti".
• Jack Canfield and Mark Victor Hansen's book "Chicken Soup for the Soul" was rejected by 144 publishers.
• It took Jim Carrey 15 years to land his break in Ace Ventura.
• J.K Rowling's first Harry Potter book was rejected by 12 publishers.
• It took Katy Perry 9 years before releasing her hit song I Kissed A Girl.
• Stephen King's first book Carrie was rejected by 30 publishers.
• Sylvester Stallone was broke and homeless, and also was rejected 1,500 times before he decided to write the script for Rocky.
• The Beatles were told that “guitar groups were on their way out.”
• Michael Jordan was cut from his high school basketball team.
• It took LeBron James 9 years before he won his first championship.
• Jeremy Lin was undrafted and jumped around different teams before becoming "Linsanity" on the New York Knicks.
• Stephen Curry had no offers for college basketball when he graduated high school.
• Manny Pacquiao was living in extreme poverty and hunger before eventually becoming one of the best boxers in history.

If you ever need a quick dose of motivation or inspiration, remember the stories of the celebrities in this list before you give up on your goals and dreams.

3 Life Lessons I’ve Learned from Toy Story 4

Ah, my favorite childhood film. Toy Story is the best. Its concept is not only for children, but for people of all ages. I watched this movie when I was a kid, a few days ago I watched it when I’m 26 years old, and I still enjoyed it!

Toy Story 4 was a great film(come to think of it, 1–3 was also great, everything about this series is great). Not only was I entertained by the movies, but each movie seems to have a few life lessons that you can apply to your life.

In Toy Story 4, these are the lessons I’ve learned(along with the movie quotes):

1. “Be who you are right now.” -Bo Peep

Bo Peep said this to Duke Caboom when Duke was losing confidence in himself. He was comparing himself to other more successful Duke Caboom toys. Bo Peep said this to raise his confidence in helping them get Forky back.

While this was meant to be a pep talk, you can learn something here. How many of you compare yourself everyday to other people, especially people who you think are “better” than you? I say don’t compare yourself! You have to realize that everyone is different from you. Everyone is unique in their own way. Just like Duke Caboom in the movie who’s more prone to crashing than other toys.

2. “Being there for a child is the most noble thing a toy can do.” — Woody

In the movie, Woody did his best to be there for his owner, Bonnie. Even if he was not picked usually as the favorite toy, he still did his best to serve and help her.

Of course, parents everywhere can relate to this. Being there for your children is a very noble task, no matter how hard it is. Even if you’re not a parent, you can be there for someone and help them make their lives happier. You can be there for your friend, classmate, co-worker, business partner, teammate, acquaintance, etc.

3. “If you sit on a shelf for the rest of your life, you”ll never find out.” -Woody

Woody said this to Gabby Gabby after she just got rejected by a girl who she wholeheartedly believe that will take her. It shattered her and left her broken inside. When Woody was about to return to Bonnie, he noticed Gabby Gabby and thought that he can help her too(this is why Woody is my favorite character). Eventually, Woody and the others found a girl who was glad to take Gabby Gabby home.

How about you? How many times were you afraid to do something you wanted to do? How many times did you let a simple rejection break your confidence? If you never actually try to do what you want or to achieve your goal, then you’ll never get what you want. You also can’t let rejection or failure stand in the way of your goals or dreams. Chase your dreams, work towards your goals, and always remember to never give up!

I love Toy Story, I love how it teaches you life lessons that are important. I’m sad that this might be the last movie of the franchise since…well you know what happened if you watched the movie. I say farewell to the Toy Story gang. To Infinity…and beyond!

When You Feel Like You're Lost

Do you ever feel like you're lost in life? Do you feel like you don't know what you're going to do or what will happen in the coming days? Do you feel afraid of something that will happen that's going to change your life, probably for the worst? Do you feel like you don't know what the hell you're going to do? 

I've been there, you've been there, everybody has been there. Even if you feel like you're alone in this, you're definitely not. 

Stop Comparing

In this thing called life, there are countless ways to experience it. There is no one size fits all way to do something or be something. What may be good for that other person may not be good for you. How you do your job might not be the same as how she does her job. Everybody is different and there is nobody exactly like another person. Stop comparing yourself to that Facebook picture of your friend or Instagram post of your celebrity idol because they have different lives than yours.

Stop Planning for Everything

Don't get me wrong, it's good that you have a plan, but sometimes things don't always go according to your plan. You need to learn how to adjust because the world will never adjust to you. If Plan A doesn't work, then have Plan B or C or D or any letter in the alphabet. Sometimes the best plan is to not have a plan and let it flow.

Stop Searching for the Perfect Path

Remember that there's no such thing as a perfect path in life. People get detoured and derailed in their goals. What they wanted to do a few years ago might be different from what they are doing right now. People often change their dreams and goals. There might be a far better opportunity in a job that you never thought you would be doing, or in a country that you never thought you would live in. It might not be the perfect path, but it will be the exact path that you need to take.

Always remember that sometimes you need to get lost to find yourself again.

Why I Will Never Stop Going to the Gym

Everybody knows what a gym is. It's a place filled with weights and machines that will supposedly get you a better body and health. Different kinds of people go there, from the young and old, to the fit and the not so fit. 

I've been going to the gym since I was 14 years old about 12 years ago. I've done hundreds of sets and reps, I've sweat a lot, I've lifted a ton of weights, and I don't regret it. The only regret I made is not following up seriously in my diet or nutrition.

I've also learned a lot of lessons in the gym, lessons that I learned only by going to the gym for more than a decade:

1) I've learned the value of Consistency

Consistency is everything in the gym. You can't go hard at the gym for only once a week, or once a month. You have to do it a few times a week, anywhere between 2-5 times a week. You don't even have to go hard every time, as long as you actually go. They say that a quick workout is better than no workout.

2) I've learned the value of Discipline

Sometimes I don't want to go to the gym, sometimes I don't want to follow my diet and eat sweets, but if I want to get my dream body, then I have to do these even if there are times that I don't want to. Discipline is one of the important keys to success that the gym and in everything in life. It's doing the hard things that will make you more successful and battle-ready even if you don't want to or don't feel like doing it.

3) I've learned the value of Patience

At my first gym session, I thought that I would these so-called "gainz" during my first week, and I didn't. It took me about a month and a half to actually see some results or changes in my body. I also see body transformations on Youtube that are amazing. They look like fitness models, but it took at least a year to get that dream body. They say that patience is a virtue and it's definitely true in fitness or the gym. You won't get successful overnight, it will take time, usually a lot of time before you see results. In the end, though, it will be all worth it.

4) I've learned the value of Confidence

As I see results, my confidence went up. I started noticing other men respect me and ask how did I get my arms or chest. I also notice women checking me out and asking if I work out. Confidence or the belief in yourself is an important life skill. One of the biggest reasons why people aren't successful is that they're not confident in themselves or their abilities. You don't have to have your dream body first to get confident if you workout and are in good shape, then your confidence will definitely go up. This is one of the easiest ways to get more confidence is to work out and exercise a lot. As I got more confident in the gym, I noticed that I got confident in other areas of my life like my career, social life, hobbies, sports, dating, etc.

Going to the gym not only gets you a better body but teaches you these lessons that I discovered myself. I recommend to everybody to go to the gym or at least find some type of exercise that they enjoy. As I said, even if I get old, I will still go to the gym and apply these lessons that I've learned there.

Leveling Up in Video Games and How it can be Applied in Real Life

Before I became anything else, I first became a gamer. My parents bought the PlayStation One for me and my two older brothers, and we were hooked with video games ever since. I was always fascinated by video games. They were fun and entertaining. When I was a kid, I could play them all day on the weekend breaks from school. I still play video games to this day, but not as much as I did when I was a kid.

There was one concept in video games that I always thought about. It's called "Level Up." It's a situation where your character or player reaches a higher level where they get stronger, faster, smarter, overall better than their previous level. I always reach a feeling of euphoria, even just for a few seconds whenever I see the level up icon on my character when I play those games. It made me feel like I accomplished something wonderful.

I then thought that hey, this can be applied in real life too! Think about it. There are levels in almost everything in life. In school, there is Pre-school > Elementary > High School > College/University > graduate school/law school/medicine school. In a job, there's usually an Entry-level > Supervisor > Manager > CEO/Owner. In sports, there's a Beginner > Amateur > Professional > World Class. There are levels everywhere.

How can we apply this to real life though? These are just games though? Here are a few tips:

1) Grind and Put In The Work

In RPGs, you have to kill enemies, monsters or bosses to raise your level usually. You have to kill a lot of these just to raise your level. It's the same thing in real life but not with monsters or enemies though. You have to work hard and make an effort to raise your level.

For example, if you work in a sales job, then you have to make a certain number of calls. There are quotas, and the best salesman goes above and beyond those quotas to become the best. If the average salesman does 30 sales calls a day, then the top salesman does at least 80 sales calls a day. Work, work, then work some more.

2) Find out Ways to Earn Experience

In games, there are other ways to raise your level rather than kill monsters. These are usually quests and sidequests, basically a set of tasks you do in exchange for a reward. In real life, there are quests and sidequests you have to take to get better.

Let's take sidequests, for example, these are optional quests but they will greatly help in making you better suited to take on the main quests. You can do optional things to better yourself like taking a class, going to a seminar, reading a book, getting a mentor, learning a new language, etc. These are optional so you don't have to do them, but if you do, you will get your extra reward and raise your level faster.

3) Get Great Teammates

There are games where you have to play with other people. These games are where you get a team to work towards a common goal or to defeat the opposing team. There is a saying that "you are only as strong as your weakest link" so if you have bad teammates, then no matter how good you are, you will have bad results.

Jim Rohn said that "You are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with." This applies to the team around you. If you spend time with a group of people, then you will become like the people in that group.

So I suggest you get the best team that you can. The higher level they are, the better. Spend time with the Valedictorian, the top student, the best-selling writer, the top artist, the CEO, the owner, the top employee, the best performer of the month, the millionaire, the rich businessman, top salesman, and so on. If you want to be a top player, then hang out and play with the current top players.

CAVEAT: In games, there is a Max Level, in real life there is no such thing.

Take note of this. Sometimes there are max levels in the game. It can be level 99 or 100 or 200 or whatever. In real life, there is no such thing as a max level. There is always room for improvement. This is the Japanese concept called Kaizen. It says that you should strive for constant and never-ending improvement. If you think you are the best and you have mastered everything there is to master, that's not the case. There are always new things you can learn to raise your level. Even the master sometimes acts like a beginner to learn something new.

Now you know how to raise your level in this game called Life.

That Awkward Stage of Learning Something New

Remember the time you learned how to walk when you were a baby? Of course not because you were a baby back then! Kidding aside, the reason why I want you to remember that is that when we were babies and were learning how to walk, we stumbled and failed many times before we actually learned how to properly walk. Sure our parents tried to teach us, but we learned it ourselves by trying and trying until we succeeded. 

That is the awkward stage of learning. Whenever we try to learn something new, there's an immensely hard part at the beginning where we are awkward and we make a lot of mistakes and fail before we get it right the first time. Everyone goes through this. Everyone starts as being a beginner at anything in life.

Now, remember the time when you tried to learn how to ride the bicycle. Almost everyone can relate to this as we fell and scratched our knees and legs whenever we made a mistake at the start of learning. Eventually, though, we learned how to ride the bike. Some people have even mastered riding the bike with no hands on the grip!

This also applies to everyday things like learning how to drive a car, cook, clean the house, read, write, speak, etc.

Also, we can apply this to other complicated and advanced matters in life like learning how to go on a date. I remember my first date with a girl. I was so nervous and shy, that my date thought of me as a weirdo. Now, I've gone on many dates and the women I went out with usually enjoy the date and my company as much as I enjoy them also.

Remember this as you apply this awkward learning to stage to other advanced matters as well like learning how to travel, public speaking, make a presentation, doing a sales talk, teaching people, learning how to start a business, trying a new job, learning a second language, meeting new friends, etc.

Allow yourself to make mistakes and fail at the start, learn from your mistakes and failures because that is how we learn new things. Everyone makes mistakes. Every master starts as a beginner. 

Why "Never Give Up" doesn't apply to Everybody

We've all heard of cliche phrases. There's that Nike phrase "Just Do It," there's also that Bob Marley song "Don't Worry, Be Happy," and the two most overused words for people aspiring to be successful and that is "Work Hard." Although there's one ubiquitous phrase that became my favorite the moment I've heard of it, and that phrase is "Never Give Up." 

Most people like this phrase. It shows perseverance against all odds, inhuman resilience. It shows a person willing to go through hundreds or even thousands of failures and rejections just to taste their big success. 

There are countless stories on the internet like these. From ultra famous names to regular everyday people. From Steve Jobs to Sylvester Stallone to Colonel Sanders of KFC. They went through a number of failures or rejections to get where they are today.

Before you get inspired to persist at whatever that you are doing or working on right now, there is one big caveat that many people don't realize about this: This is not applicable to everybody.

What if your current job is not something that you like or actually hate? What if you don't even give a damn on the current project you're working on? What if somebody else told you to start that hobby that you're not even the least bit interested in? What if the person you're dating is not the right one for you?

These are just some of the exceptions to this famous phrase. There are some things in life that if you give up on, then your life will actually become better. After you give up on certain things, you might try a new thing and little that you know that this new thing will be much better for you than that thing you gave up on.

Don't get me wrong, you shouldn't give up on something that you truly care about, but if this something does not bring you joy or happiness anymore, then, by all means, give up on it and make room for something far better.

It's REDIRECTION, not rejection.

Everybody has been rejected in their lives, and I mean everybody. I laugh at it now, but I used to have a friend who said to me: "Bro, I have NEVER been rejected by a girl, not even once!" That guy was about 3 or 4 years younger than me, and we were both teenagers then. It made me think, is that guy that handsome? Or is he just bragging about something that isn't true? It doesn't matter because I'm pretty sure he was lying.

Looking at it now, it made me look back at the girls who rejected me...wow there's a lot of them. Although now I realize that thank God they rejected me! It hurts at first, but if you think about it, those girls are doing you a favor. Girls rejecting you simply means that they aren't right for you. You might be thinking "but I really like that girl!" but think about it, would you honestly date someone that doesn't like you? Every rejection that I get in my love life, gets me closer to the girl that I will end up with, whoever she is (God I hope I meet her soon).

This not only applies to your dating life, but also in your career as well. I remember in my last job I was terminated after only one month. At first, it was devastating, but later on, I realized that it was a blessing in disguise. I worked at the night shift, and I'm one of those people that is not allowed to work the night shift because of health issues.

In the book, The Success Principles by Jack Canfield he had a formula for rejection: "SWSWSWSW" which means "Some Will Some Won't So What? Someone's Waiting." This means that no matter how many rejections you receive, someone out there is willing to say yes to you, but you've got to go through the many nos to get your yes.

Every rejection is a redirection to something better.

Whatever it is, do it NOW!

Has something like this ever happened to you: you're at school and it's recitation time, the teacher asked a question, everybody's wondering what the answer is, but you know. So you want to raise your hand but didn't. Maybe because you weren't sure if it was the right answer that you're thinking. Maybe because you're afraid that your classmates will think that you're Mr. or Mrs. smarty pants. Whatever reason you had for not raising your hand, you hesitated. A few seconds later, your classmate Michelle raised her hand and gave the right answer. Your teacher praised her and gave her a high grade for recitation. You probably hated Michelle for a few seconds or even a few minutes because she stole your answer, your high grade, and your praise.

I'm pretty sure something like this has happened to everyone, especially the shy ones. Unless you were a confident kid, this would happen to you.

In my own life, I regretted a lot of things in my school life. Now that I'm a working professional, whenever I look back, I can't help but think of all the things I would've done differently if I knew then what I know now. One thing I know now is to avoid procrastination. This is one of the biggest problems of people today. They put off for tomorrow what can be done today. I myself is guilty of this even to this day.

One example of this is when I took summer basketball lessons at elementary school. I think I was in 5th grade. I finished the lessons thinking that I would be a better player, but I didn't practice or play at all after that. I kept playing video games rather than basketball, and I put off playing telling that I will play tomorrow. Tomorrow then became the day after tomorrow, then turned to a few days, then next week, until I forgot to even play at all. I regret this so much because up to now I STILL can't say that I am good at playing basketball. I suck! I know how to play compared to when I started, but all that time spent I could've developed my skills were wasted. If I only did give time to practice and play basketball, I could've been good enough to play at local tournaments.

I also remember a story I read from the book Chicken Soup for the Soul. It's titled "Why Wait?...Just Do It!" by Glenn Mcintyre. The story here is about a person who wanted to ride a motorcycle but didn't know where to start. He just bought a motorcycle and started riding. At an early age of 17, he started to ride and fell in love with it. He rode until he ran out of roads years later. At the age of 23, he had a road accident and became a paraplegic. He was thankful that he rode at an early age because he wouldn't have experienced those wonderful things on the road if he hadn't started riding at that early age.

Whatever you want to do, whether it be to get a different career, try a new hobby, start a business, travel to another continent, do it NOW! The sooner, the better. Stop putting off for tomorrow what you can do now because there's no guarantee that there will be a tomorrow at all.

The main thing I learned from How to Train Your Dragon: The Hidden World

Last week, I and my older brother decided to watch How to Train Your Dragon: The Hidden World for a sort of like a post 26th birthday celebration for me. I was really excited because How to Train Your Dragon is one of my favorite animated movie series, and I also think dragons are cool (who doesn't think that those flying, fire-breathing mythical creatures are awesome?!). Besides the entertaining part of the story, there was one life lesson I learned in the movie and I want to share it.

WARNING: Spoilers ahead for those who haven't watched the movie, I suggest you watch it first or make sure that you're ok with me spoiling you.

So the story in this movie continues from the second one, where the people from Berk are living happily with the dragons, and at the same time catching the dragon killers. Eventually, Berk gets overpopulated especially since they brought home so many dragons over the years, making them an easy target for enemies, so they were forced to migrate to another location. Hiccup remembered a legend that his father told him about the hidden world, where the dragons can live amongst themselves. Many things happened and eventually, the people of Berk were happy with their new location, but they had to let go of all the dragons so that they can be safe in the hidden world.

You might be asking: Is there actually a lesson in this movie for real life? Yes, there is! If you just use a little bit of thinking, you will notice the lesson. It's that everything in this life has an end, you eventually have to let go. Hiccup and the people from Berk loved their dragons. From the ending of the first movie, all the way to this movie, they were with their dragons and enjoyed every second of it. This is until the part where they realized that the dragons are in danger, and there is a world where the dragons can be safe, but they will have to let go of them. This can be applied in real life too. No matter how much you are enjoying your life or whatever is happening in your life, there will be some big changes that will happen, let go of the past and let go of whatever is holding you from enjoying the present and focusing on the future. Let go of your glory days in high school, it's over. Let go of that job you loved/hated, you will get a new one. Let go of that previous relationship, he/she is not part of your life anymore (unless you stayed friends that is). Let go of that grudge you had with someone you didn't get along with or fought with, no matter the reason for your grudge, it's not important anymore. 

The sooner you can let go of the things in life that are no longer serving you, the better your life will be. 

The Deadly Feeling of Jealousy and How to Overcome It

Ah, jealousy. One of the ugliest emotions that a human being can ever experience. Ever since ancient times, this emotion has caused relationship strains, broken friendships, unhappiness, depression, hate, anger, and any other negative thing in human history. It can even cause wars between countries. All of us has experienced this in our lives. Remember when you were in school and your classmate got higher grades than you and she wasn’t even studying that hard? Or remember the time when you were a teenager and you started liking girls/boys, that your friend keeps getting attention from them while you’re wondering if you’re attractive or not? Or even when you started working and your colleague got that promotion way ahead of you, while you worked your ass off just to watch that asshole get it first? Yes, every single one of us knows this feeling too well. I’ve experienced it way too many times in my life so far. I did learn some ways to cope with it though, here they are and I hope they can help you to cope with your own syndrome of envy:

1)    Realize that everyone is different from you

-       Now just because that guy has a better car than you, doesn’t mean that same car will be right for you. Just because that girl has a hotter boyfriend than you, doesn’t mean that that same boyfriend will make you happy. Everyone has different advantages and disadvantages; everyone has different cards that life has dealt them with. You need to realize that just because that person has that thing in his/her life, that same thing won’t be right for your life.

2)    Be grateful for what you already have

-       My mom always said to me “son, when you want to be truly happy, you have to count your blessings,” and she was spot on. You can’t be happy if you keep looking at what others have that you don’t have. You’re always looking at what’s lacking in your life instead of what you already have. It’s impossible for someone to have absolutely nothing in their life; everyone has something. Even that beggar that you see in the street, he has his life. When you start being grateful for what you already have, only then you will realize that there’s nothing lacking and that you’re a blessed and lucky person.

(Caveat: if you want to add or improve something in your life, then go ahead. However, don’t do this if you’re coming from a place of scarcity, be grateful first then add something to your life or improve it, you will have a much easier time.)

3)    Be happy for the people around you

-       This is probably the hardest step. I know you’re thinking: “why the hell should I be happy for that bastard?” It’s because eventually, you’ll be as happy, or even happier than that person. I know it’s hard to believe that right now, you may be thinking that it’s pure bullshit, but it’s true. Things eventually do get better as time goes by. That problem you had yesterday, you will be able to solve it tomorrow. The worries you have about your job or your love life or your family, it probably won’t happen.

Also, that guy you hate or that girl that you think is snobby, you don’t know their story. You don’t know what’s happening in their lives, whether good or bad. They may be going through some hard stuff right now and are hiding it from everyone. You probably remember that time in your life, everyone remembers that dark time in their lives when they are worried about the worst case scenarios that may happen.

So the next time you see a person like that, be kind to them and give them your smile. I remember a story about a guy who killed himself. He wrote in his suicide note: “If on my way to the bridge where I’m going to jump, at least one person smiles at me, I won’t kill myself.” Guess what happened? Your smile may be able to save a person’s life.

Everyone feels jealous of someone else. I, you or people you know have gotten this feeling too. You don’t have to let this one silly negative emotion ruin your life.

Why do we keep rejecting ourselves?

image source: thebridalbox.com

I'm pretty sure when you had your first crush, you already thought to yourself something along the lines of "I'm too ugly" or "I'm not good enough for him/her" or "would he/she even like me?" Not just in dating but also in things like applying for a job or meeting new people or friends. We always reject ourselves first before other people get a chance to even reject us. It's human nature to be biased towards negativity, but a number of people don't even try for their deathly fear of rejection.

I remember last year, there was this girl I really admire and had a crush on. At this point, I'm very confident in myself on asking out women, but there are still thoughts that race through my mind. Thoughts like "this girl's too pretty for me" or "I'm probably not her type" raced through my mind, but I still gathered my courage and asked her out. Wouldn't you know it, she actually said yes! (We dated a few times until we realized that things won't work out for us, but that's another story) 

So my point is, try it first. We won't know unless we try. When you don't, ask the answer is always no. When you don't try, you'll never know. 

So what are you waiting for? Apply for that job, try that new meetup group, ask that person out. Who knows? They might say yes.

What I Learned This 1st Month of 2019

January is almost over and already so many things happened in my life. From events in my family to events in my career, to events in my relationships and personal life. I've learned a lot with just this first month. So far here's what I learned:

•I got injured playing basketball in the 1st week, I sprained my left ankle. I had to withstand the pain because it was a moderate injury. There are times when I push through it just to be able to spend time with my family because my brother and father was here for the holidays. I still remember walking in SM Megamall with a sharp pain on my left ankle, but it was worth it because I got to spend quality time with my fam. I learned how to withstand pain.

•On the second week I went to an event in my financial advisor part time job and learned a lot of tips from the speakers there. Pru Life UK had its year kick off party. I ate delicious food there and met some new people. What I enjoyed was learning from the more experienced employees. I learned how to have niche market, how to accept rejection gracefully, how to succeed as a part-timer among other stuff. I was disappointed that I had to leave early so that I can rest my sprained ankle.

•On the second and third week was my job application in a call center. I applied at a recruitment agency for call centers and passed. The recruiter gave me choices on which call center I want to apply. I chose the nearer one. I was able to apply a week later than my application in the recruitment agency because I had to rest my ankle more. When I did apply, I passed the application with flying colors. The problem was that the company was unfairly rushing me to complete all my requirements in just one day! I had a gut feeling not to go through with this and since my previous experiences with call centers were bad and I wanted to try a new field of work. I decided not to go through with it. I learned that I can pass a job application, I just had to be confident.

•On the fourth week I had an argument with my mom. I accused her of not having emotional support for me but then she lashed out and defended herself and justified that she does support me, I'm just not noticing it. I felt guilty and apologized immediately after. I promised to her that I will be more responsible in my career, in helping around the house and be responsible in my life in general. I learned to take responsibility.

With those being said, January 2019 is not over. I'm excited for what will happen in the remaining days. I'm also more excited as next February is my birth month!